Archive for the ‘Zombie’ Category

Here there be spoilers.

Episode 11 is one of those sideshow episodes where we wander off and focus on one or two secondary characters for a while.

We start off with Merle laying down his knowledge of the Governor, talking up the Gov’s tactical brilliance and his superior numbers in terms of troops and guns. It’s kind of a great scene: Merle is always bitching about back when he was locked to the roof in Atlanta and had to cut off his hand. And now he’s right back in Rick’s captivity. He’s almost sympathetic, especially when conversing with Herschel. We learn Merle even has a brain as he starts citing bible verses and spouting scripture back at Herschel. I guess if East Texas cheerleaders can surprise us with scripture, so can Merle.

Merle’s warnings about the Governor establish the raised stakes: There are underdogs and then there is the Rick Grimes Gang. It’s looking like an Alamo kind of situation. But at least the good guys have the prison on their side, and the fact that they aren’t (like the governor) trying to raise a child army.

Then we get the big Herschel/Rick confrontation. “You once said this isn’t a democracy? You have to own up to that. I put my family’s life in your hands.” Exactly. Rick, please stop following hot hallucination/ghost Lori around the prison yard. Even your son wants you to back off.

(And Rick does. It’s not his episode.)

Much of the episode is dedicated to Andrea’s journey to the prison and back, in direct defiance of the Governor’s orders. Her exit isn’t exactly the Great Escape. It’s unclear why she appeals so idealistically to Milton and asks him to help her get out of Woodbury. Of course Milton goes straight to the Governor with news of Andrea’s “betrayal” (Milton’s entrance falls immediately after the Governor takes the bandage off his eye—looking uglier by the day, Gov!). “Help her,” the Gubernator says. It’s clumsy evil but still evil enough to keep us going, all things considered. With walkers crawling around all over and Rick descending into madness, we don’t need the Governor to be anything more than a straw man with an army.

Andrea’s quest allows us the gruesome scene of her going all Michone on a walker, first double amputating it and then using a rock to take out its teeth, while Milton holds it down. I’m going out on a limb and saying that this scene was the second most disturbing example of “curbing” ever caught on camera, after this one. I guess the joke is on Milton after all! He seems like the kind of guy who has bad dreams.

The problem with Andrea’s quest is that no one believes her tie to the Governor, or “Phillip” as she calls him. He keeps heads in fish tanks and his zombie daughter in a closet—typically a bad sign in a man. So her need to be this mutually interested ambassador between her friends (understandable) and this guy (fish tanks!) falls a little flat.

That said, the prison visitation allows for some intense moments for Andrea, especially during the scene with Carol and the baby, when Andrea first learns 1) that Rick killed Shane; 2) that Shane loved Lori, and in fact loved her enough to try to kill Rick; 3) that Shane probably wasn’t all that into Andrea, however it may have appeared at the time; and 4) that her post-apocalyptic track record with men is shoddy.

Even as Andrea’s episode sunsets, we see the raising of other stakes: The chess pieces are moving. The Governor gets his military intelligence: First by picking up Dennis-from-”The-Wire” and his fellow rejects, who know the inside of the prison and don’t like Rick; and second from Andrea, who confirms that Michone and Merle are with his other enemies. Of course he doesn’t know that his enemies are moving against him, with Rick promising to leave on a run in the morning. He’s taking Michone to test her, and Carl.

Some fathers and sons fix a car together as a rite of passage, but not Rick and Carl Grimes. No, they go on a “run” through zombie country to fight a cyclops. Could Carl’s Rite of Passage possibly be as bizarre as Harmar Cow Jumping?

As usual you are in Spoilerville. Proceed at your own risk.

Sorry to have been absent. Officially I’ve been on non-zombie matters. Unofficially I’ve been boycotting writing about The Walking Dead until Rick got over Lori.

I’m hoping my boycott can end now that we’ve slogged through episode 3.10: “Home.” What a painful episode it was. We can recognize the long-term character benefits of Rick seeing his dead wife Lori all over the prison yard. (How bleak is this show that she looked regal down by the barbed-wire fence?) But do we really need our protagonist to go on a micro-journey to the underworld? He’s already in hell as it is, hiding out in a “Home” carved out of a penitentiary. You might think you couldn’t lay this absurdity on too thick, but Lori looking hotter than ever in a white dress, making the prison yard blush, is asking too much.

Lori, let me remind you, was the root of so much trouble (hence my boycott). Harken back to the first season. Shane knows he’s in trouble given he’s been sleeping with Rick’s wife, presuming his best friend was dead, only to see Rick return. For maybe an episode and a half, Shane keeps it together, and his intentions are aligned with his best friend’s. But then comes the “Tell It To the Frogs” episode. Lori goes apeshit during the frog-catching adventure and tells Shane to stay away from her family. Her vicious, guilt-consumed reaction cuts Shane off from the only thing he was striving for: Lori and her family. Shortly afterward, stripped of any meaning, Shane flies into a rage. He beats up Ed, who is clearly a douchebag deserving of a beating, but still: Goodbye ego, hello id. Thanks, Lori, for triggering that. And now your visage is leading our hero around the woods in a daze. This is supposed to be a zombie series, not 127 Hours.

The most understated revelation of this episode was Rick’s admission to Herschel that when the phone rang in the prison it was Lori and Shane on the line. These hallucinations have been going on all season. His journey outside the prison walls, into the unsafe land of the dead, takes on a kind of listless Orpheus and Euridice quality, with Lori slipping away each time Rick nears her. (Myth nerds: Feel free to commence an argument on Edith Hamilton vs. Thomas Bulfinch in the comment thread if so inclined).

Of course all this fits well with the existential themes we’ve been talking about for a while. Rick’s visions are hand in glove with the doubled-down sense of confinement, trapped in a prison that could seemingly get overrun at any point, with the world around them offering few options but to continue this confinement.

Fortunately, we also have the Governor. I have never been so glad to see his ugly face. He shows up at the prison in the final ten minutes with various gifts: thugs, automatic weapons, a U-Haul full of walkers. Nothing like violence to snap our protagonist back into Ranger Rick mode. The attack also gives cover for Daryl to bring Merle back into the fold. I’m sure there will be a debate about whether or not Merle stays, but Rick can’t say no to Merle when the guy just saved his life.

While the Governor’s entrance snaps us back on track in several respects, he still finds time to remind us he is the most grating character on the show. I could have done without his Cobra Commander-style, from the hip machine gun play.

Bold prediction for next week: Shimmering Lori apparition appears over a herd of charging walkers. Yawn. Hopefully the single descent into the underworld was sufficient and I won’t have to resume my boycott.

Back in June we posted the poll below. Well now Bloomberg has “scooped” us with their own insight on the key question:

When zombies invade, who do you want for president?

Here’s an interesting excerpt from the Bloomberg piece:

One problem a president would face, [zombie researcher Daniel] Drezner says, is that the zombie crisis, like so many today, might begin ambiguously: “When it emerges, it will be very, very hard to define exactly what the threat is.”

Presumably, it would begin with some sort of terrible pathogen (the sort that has turned most of humanity into zombies on one of cable television’s most popular shows, “The Walking Dead”), but the devastation wouldn’t be immediate. The 3 a.m. phone call might begin more like this: “Something bad is happening, Mr. President, but we’re not sure what.”

Within days, though, it would become clear that in order to save what remains of humanity, a president would have to take the most dire and seemingly cruel steps imaginable, working in an atmosphere of paranoia and pervasive death and bureaucratic miscommunication.

Our poll is still open, so please vote.

Originally posted June 27, 2012: Poll results released today indicate that most people think Obama would do a better job than Romney at repelling an alien invasion. Maybe they are responding to the fact that Jimmy Carter called out Obama; receiving criticism from the 39th president is a sure-fire way to show you are strong on defense topics.

All of this made us wonder:

Granted, Jimmy Carter isn’t running for president. But he seems to think he’s relevant to this election so why not.

Debate Night in America

Posted: October 11, 2012 by Rooster in Politics, Zombie
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It’s unanimous!

Posted: September 26, 2012 by sportinglife76 in Lifestyle, Zombie
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Every team hates the zombie scab refs! Packers fans REALLY hate the zombie scab refs! Hell, I’m a Seahawk fan and I hate the zombie scab refs. It makes no sense that so many people can hate something so much and yet continue to follow. It’s like a zombie parade.

Only a zombie would continue to obsess even when the game became fundamentally unjust. Both teams spent the second half of Monday Night Football getting screwed over by zombie scab refs, but instead of rejecting this broken product, fans of American football in general and of both teams in particular became more engrossed and enraged. That this crescendoed into the worst call/non-call in the history of sports (though not the most important) shouldn’t be surprising.

What does that make us?

Zombie referee

Some may argue that Goodell is hardly a zombie mastermind, but Monday Night’s game proves it. Somewhere, he is laughing his zombie master laugh.

In the last month, Miami has been the center of the zombie world in several respects. First, there was the infamous bath salt zombie attack. And last week, LeBron James and the Heat defeated the “Zombie Sonics” in one of the more memorable NBA Finals in recent memory. We’ve covered the first story sufficiently here at Zombielanche.com, but the second story deserves some more attention.

Clay Bennett: If he looks like a zombie and acts like a zombie…

For anyone who may have missed it, the evil billionaire coffee tycoon owner of the Seattle Sonics who had failed to effectively hold his city hostage for a publicly-funded basketball stadium got frustrated and sold the team to a couple of evil billionaires hailing from Oklahoma. These “men possessed” proceeded to continue the attempted hostage situation but really it was all a front for moving the franchise to Oklahoma City, a city with nothing else to do other than go to basketball games and prepare for a zombie apocalypse.

Four years later, a team birthed of evil billionaires, civic lies, and dashed hopes found its way into the NBA Finals. These Zombie Sonics were a bit different from the usual walking dead. Kevin Durant is tall and quick. Russell Westbrook is short (well, by NBA standards) and even quicker. These are not the zombies we’re talking about. But these folks are:

Which leaves me with one question: Have zombies ever attended the NBA Finals before? Hopefully we don’t have a Zombie Dynasty on our hands here. Although a Zombie Buffalo Bills type run would be kind of funny and well earned.

Zombie Head of State

Posted: June 12, 2012 by Rooster in Politics, Zombie
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Inner demons, bath salt-induced and otherwise

Posted: June 4, 2012 by zombieprofessor in Zombie
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We at Zombielanche have been watching the Miami “zombie attack” incident unfold, waiting to comment. Before we say anything about the incident, we offer up the video account, the most factual and least sensationalized telling of this story.

Disturbing, no? Not hard to see why people are already jumping to a zombie explanation. We’re certainly interested in that possibility, but moreso in how this incident has provoked and/or revealed zombie thinking throughout our society.

Look at how many cars drove by this grizzly event? It takes eight minutes for anyone to slow down and take notice of the atrocity going on next to a major road. And it takes 18 minutes for the cops to get there (though it sounds like the 911 operator may have received a number of calls before the police arrived). Or maybe it’s just that no one really noticed until Rudy Eugene had stripped naked and begun to eat Ronald Poppo.

The emerging story about why this happened is probably more unnerving. The Miami police are blaming “bath salts”. Until about a week ago, most people who knew anything about bath salts were aware only of the bathroom variety. But it turns out designer drugs called “bath salts” are a growing public health concern. I’ll say: this designer drug makes you strip off your clothes and maybe even eat face.

Curious about bath salts? I was too (no not THAT curious). CNN tracked down someone who survived an overdose. The interview with a bath salt user who came back from an overdose speaks for itself, especially when the user describes bath salts as creating some kind of evil possession.

Looks like he just barely came back from the bath salt zombie craze. I do like this quote: “I didn’t want to eat anyone’s flesh.” Well it’s good that’s not universal.

The drug does seem to have a powerful effect on otherwise peaceful people. Rudy Eugene apparently was religious and had attended bible study two days prior. And as the Huffington Post demonstrates, there is a sad story and larger social warning behind all of this.

Of course many may miss the warning. Since it’s Miami, there has to be a tourist angle, right? You betcha. Apparently the site of this tragedy is already a tourist destination. You see there are many types of zombies.

Zombie poetry

Posted: April 7, 2012 by sportinglife76 in Zombie, Zombie poetry
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Some of you may not know that, in addition to covering zombie-related sports for Zombielanche.com, I also sideline as a poet. So I’m awfully proud of this haiku’s appearance in Zombiepoetry.com. I wrote it on Valentines Day:

Unconditional
Didn’t include zombie you
Should have stayed human